If you know anything about me, you know that I love to read. I’ve been glued to a book ever since I first learnt how to read.
Of course, life happens, and naturally there have been times when I’ve fallen off my reading game, but I always pick it back up.
Over the years, my taste in books has changed a lot, and recently I've read a lot of self help books that have played a role in shaping the start of my twenties to be better than I ever imagined.
The books that I’m writing about today are not books I've read recently, so I won't comment on the details, but what I can say is that they have left an impact. Lessons from these books cross my mind regularly, even though it's been quite a while since i read them.
So if they still make an impact today, you know that they’re worth reading.
The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck - Mark Manson
I’m sure you have seen this book everywhere and are fed up with the sight of it, but fun fact, I read it before it blew up in every local shop.
One of my favorite youtubers, Kalyn Nicholson, spoke about it in a video and I decided to pick it up.
If I’m being honest, the first time you read a self help book can be pretty daunting, especially if you, like me, aren't comfortable being told what to do and how to live.
This is the first self help book I ever read, and it knocked my freaking socks off.
As the title suggests, it’s a very lucid read, written in the language you and I use everyday, which makes the experience of reading this book very similar to that of a good talk with a woke friend.
The very first chapter had some pretty valid points that hit deep;
“The avoidance of suffering is in itself a form of suffering.” Take a moment to let that sink in.
What makes this particular self help book stand out from the others is that it basically tells you that the desire for more positive experiences is in itself a negative experience. It is devoid of the regular self help BS, and is brutally honest.
A very good concept that this book introduced me to is that you and I, we have a limited number of f*cks. So don't waste them caring about things that are not worthy of those limited f*cks. Use your f*cks wisely. Do what is important or noble or feels right to you.
The chapter names intrigued me as well- 'Don't try', 'Happiness is a Problem', 'You Are Not Special', 'The Value of Suffering', 'You Are Always Choosing', 'You Are Wrong About Everything', 'Failure Is The Way Forward', The Importance of Saying No', 'And Then You Die'. Seems morbid, I know, but atleast its real.
Mark talks about choosing the pain you want in your life, and choosing what you are willing to struggle for, because the struggle is inevitable.
I liked the honesty, the lack of sugarcoating, and the rawness with which he touches upon how life is made lighter by the thought of your own death.
So, if you hate the self help books telling you to be happy, this is your book.
THE ALCHEMIST - PAULO COELHO
This book can seem hard to get through, I won't deny that. It's the kind of book that feels like a drag, until you cross the midway mark and then you won’t be able to put it down. It was my determination to see what the hype was about, that pulled me through. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s boring, because it’s not. It's an interesting story of a boy and his journey through the deserts to realize his destiny and obtain his treasure. If you pick it up, see it through to the end. Promise me.
Alchemy is about penetrating the soul of the earth, and discovering the treasure that has been reserved for you. It exists so that everyone will search for their treasure, and want it more than ever before. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.
“There is a language that doesn't depend on words, and if you can learn to understand this language without words, you can understand the world.” -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
“Each performs its own exact function as a unique being, there’s no need for iron to be gold.” -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
“When i’m eating, that's all i think about. If i'm on the march, i just concentrate on marching. If i have to fight, it will be just as good a day to die as any other. Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you will be a happy man. You will see that there is life in the desert and there are stars in the heavens and the tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, because life is the moment we're living right now” -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
These are some of my favourite quotes from the book.
This book is a must read, whoever and wherever you are. Even if you think it’s not your thing, if you make it to the end, you will see that even you found something valuable to take away from it.
YOU ARE A BADASS - JEN SINCERO
This book is hyped too, but for good reason. IT'S SIMPLY EXCELLENT. I think everyone should read this book. No exceptions.
Any amount of quotations from this book won't do it justice. Trust me, read one chapter and your mind will be blown. Jen Sinceros casual humour and plain badassery will keep you hooked, and leave you feeling empowered.
“I can pretty much guarantee that every time you tearfully ask yourself the question, “WTF is my problem?!” the answer lies in some lame, limiting, and false subconscious belief that you’ve been dragging around without even realizing”
― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”
― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
“There’s nothing as unstoppable as a freight train full of fuck-yeah.”
― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
“Imagine what our world would be like if everyone loved themselves so much that they weren’t threatened by other people’s opinions or skin colors or sexual preferences or talents or education or possessions or lack of possessions or religious beliefs or customs or their general tendency to just be whoever the hell they are.”
― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Clearly, a lot of excellent points are being made, and I don’t know about you, but her casual way of putting them across really hit home for me. If you read only one book from this list, please read this one.
HOW TO BE A BAWSE - LILLY SINGH
For those of you who don’t know who Lilly Singh is, she’s a YouTuber who primarily made comedy content, and her fame peaked around 2015. She made vlogs too, and I've always found her to be an incredibly motivating inspiration figure in my life.
I did not think she could write though. My first thought when she said she was writing a book was, “Ugh, these YouTubers all feel like they need to write a book and over-price it, can they chill?”
But reading the reviews of the book, I found myself placing an order. I also attended her book tour when she came to Mumbai, which is out of character for me. I’m not your typical fan-girl, but Lilly Singh, who went by the name “Superwoman”, was genuinely someone I looked up to.
If you have watched her videos/vlogs, you know that she's simply HILARIOUS, and her content is very relatable.
Her voice and personality translate perfectly into the book and I found myself cracking up while reading it, all the while learning through her mistakes.
The book is broken into 50 bite sized chapters, and is full of graphics and jokes. I genuinely enjoyed reading this one very much. It felt just as if I was watching her talk on YouTube, reading the book didn't feel like work at all.
She talks about her journey from a depressed teenage girl to the Bawse she is now, and her book is about learning how to conquer life, not just survive it.
“Video Games are a great analogy for life. You go through level, get thrown off by obstacles, and face several enemies.”
― Lilly Singh, How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life
“There is a switch within all of us that we can flick from survive to conquer. Even though we need to survive sometimes, we shouldn’t get too comfortable in our life jackets.” – Lilly Singh
“You are revolutionary. You have amazing ideas. You have the ability to create, to change, to solve, and to influence. Don’t sell yourself short by not spending your time, energy, and money on creating the best version of yourself.” – Lilly Singh
YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE - LOUISE HAY
Another amazing read, Louise Hay talks about how you can heal every part of yourself. She talks about how physical ailments are linked to unhealthy subconscious beliefs that have developed as life threw us lemons, and walks us through how we can heal ourselves physically, emotionally, and subconsciously and get rid of our baggage.
"Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."
“Well, I believe you created those experiences over and over because they mirrored something you believed about yourself. It doesn’t really matter how long we have had a problem, or how big it is, or how life-threatening it is. The Point of Power Is Always in the Present Moment”
― Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life
“Would you really dig into yesterday’s garbage to make tonight’s meal? Do you dig into old mental garbage to create tomorrow’s experiences? If a thought or belief does not serve you, let it go! There is no written law that says that because you once believed something, you have to continue to believe it forever.”
― Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life
If you find yourself in a rut, and tied down by your past, you can heal your life. (winkwink)
Personal tip: read 'You Are A Badass' before you read this. You don't have to, but i felt like it helped me understand this book better because I was familiar with some of the concepts after reading 'You Are A Badass'.
BIG MAGIC- ELIZABETH GILBERT
This book has played a GREAT role in my writing journey. Anyone who has creative passions, HAS to read it. The ideas and concepts that Elizabeth Gilbert talks about, I have never seen mentioned elsewhere. It really changed the way I viewed the creative process, for all forms of creating. It's played a role in shaping my writing as well as dancing passions.
“Recognizing that people's reactions don't belong to you is the only sane way to create. If people enjoy what you've created, terrific. If people ignore what you've created, too bad. If people misunderstand what you've created, don't sweat it. And what if people absolutely hate what you've created? What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud? Just smile sweetly and suggest - as politely as you possibly can - that they go make their own fucking art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
“I believe that our planet is inhabited not only by animals and plants and bacteria and viruses, but also by ideas. Ideas are a disembodied, energetic life-form. They are completely separate from us, but capable of interacting with us—albeit strangely. Ideas have no material body, but they do have consciousness, and they most certainly have will. Ideas are driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest. And the only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner. It is only through a human’s efforts that an idea can be escorted out of the ether and into the realm of the actual.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS - KHALED HOSSEINI
A fictional book that still changes your thoughts about things? YES PLEASE. Captivating from the first sentence, this book will keep you up all night, eager to know what happens next. Khaled Hosseini is one of my all time favorite writers. He's written 3 books including this one, that i randomly picked out without recommendation. I would say that all of his books are must reads. He knows how to use his words to evoke emotions, and really moves the reader with his heart wrenching stories.
“I know you're still young but I want you to understand and learn this now. Marriage can wait, education cannot. You're a very very bright girl. Truly you are. You can be anything you want Laila. I know this about you. And I also know that when this war is over Afghanistan is going to need you as much as its men, maybe even more. Because a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated, Laila. No chance.”
“She would not miss him as she did now, when the ache of his absence was her unremitting companion--like the phantom pain of an amputee.”
His other two books are called 'And The Mountains Echoed', and 'The Kite Runner'.
If you are looking for a good engaging novel, pick up one of these for sure.
Disclaimer: you might cry.
(Read them in any order, they are individual novels)
WILD - CHERYL STRAYED
This book was my favorite for quite a while. It moved me so much that I gifted it to a few of my friends and lent it out to a few more. No one really knows about this book and I randomly ordered this a week before going on my Ladakh trip. Reading this book while journeying the barren raw paths of Ladakh made it way more impactful. I think every girl specifically in her twenties should give this one a read, we all need to feel empowered.
“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.”
― Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
“There’s always a sunrise and always a sunset and it’s up to you to choose to be there for it,’ said my mother. 'Put yourself in the way of beauty.”
― Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
INTO THE WATER - PAULA HAWKINS
Mystery novels have always been my favourite. This one, however, was very different from your usual mystery novel. The way it's structured is mind blowing. Paula doesn't write the book only from one character's point of view, she has written the book using the point of view of several characters, including the character that died. She somehow managed to still maintain the mystery, revealing only the tiny piece of information we needed for the story to move forward. You will not be able to put this book down. This style of writing seems to be her specialty, because her other bestselling book, ‘The Girl On The Train’, uses this format too. (That's a pretty good book as well, but I thought the movie was better)
If I ever do write my own mystery novel (it's on my bucket list), know that this book will be my inspiration. The script and structure is unique and engrossing, and it is not something everyone can write. Infact, a lot of people found that they were confused reading this novel because of the complexity of seeing the story from so many viewpoints. (So imagine her talent to be able to write this way).
The story is about a single mother, Nel Abbot, who turns up dead at the bottom of the river that runs through town. Earlier in the summer, a vulnerable teenage girl met the same fate. They are not the first women lost to these dark waters, but their deaths disturb the river and its history, dredging up secrets long submerged.
A very unique read, definitely go for it.
YOUR FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD BOOK
This may sound random. Hear me out. We all had a book that we loved when we were children, and even though we still have love for it, re reading a book written for children seems pointless.
My favourite books were the famous five books by Enid Blyton. She was my favourite author as a child, and not only have I read the entire Famous Five serious a couple times, I've also read almost every other book she has written.
I re-read 4 famous five books recently, and yes, I already knew the story and didn't pick up on any new grammar, but oh my god what a blast from the past.
I remembered the thoughts I had while reading those books as an 8 year old, curled up in my blanket reading till 2 am, when I knew I had school the next day. In a way it felt like I was reconnecting with my child self, and I felt carefree again. I think we all need that.
It's really easy to lose ourselves to the struggles of daily life and adult problems, and reading your childhood favorite book is a really fun way of reconnecting with who you used to be before all of the adulting was thrown in your face.
I’m curious, which was your favourite book as a child?
How many of these have you read?
Which ones are you excited to read?
Let me know!
Stay Cosy, Stay Rosy
Bye xx
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